do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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