i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
kristin has been a bad kristin
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
