oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
