Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So much rum. So many feels.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize