Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
