Porn is love you can see.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
