singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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