All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize