well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
