Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
