Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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