I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
