Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
