haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
