Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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