My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
