Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
