i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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