haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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