I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
