O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
