Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize