she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
