Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
