He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize