I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
