just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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