Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My bed smells like the plague
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
