I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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