the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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