My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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