Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
