I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
