your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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