we're blogging at a bar
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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