The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize