Fuck appropriateness.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
