i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
BRING THE BAGELS
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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