ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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