I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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