lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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