hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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