We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
