I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
