How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
3 2 1 whiskey
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
