I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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