fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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