I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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