If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
