I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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