im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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