I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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