Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
