if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize