i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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