I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
