Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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