i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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