question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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