i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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