i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize