I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
