Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
40s are totally the cure
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How does one acquire holy water?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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